Accidents Happen. -Final SBS Reflection

By: Phyllis Elizabeth Holloway

How I feel about the semester drawing to a close.

How I feel when I think that also means I won't get 

to see the kids at Step By Step for over a month.

At our last night at Step By Step, one of our kids had an accident. This was our first accident all semester and we handled it very well. Sometimes, accidents happen; however, my time at Step By Step was no accident. My life has been forever changed because of my time at Step By Step. This video includes some of my favorite moments from my time at Step By Step.

As you can see from some of my posts from this semester, one of the biggest problems during our time volunteering is making sure each kid got equal attention from all of the volunteers. At first we were a bit rocky on this part, but eventually we had it down pat. We still had one precious girl that loved the spotlight, but that simply made our time a little bit brighter. This semester at Step By Step has been an absolute blessing. I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting the ladies I have been volunteering with and the children we have been playing with. I am sad that my time at Step By Step is over for this year, but I do know that I will be returning in the coming semesters during my time here in Lexington. Not only do I have to thank Step By Step for this experience, but a big thanks to CIS112 for allowing the class go out into this big, scary world and change it. This has been a fantastic semester. Godspeed.

Final Video Reflection

It's hard to believe the semester is almost over already! I volunteered at Step by Step for the last time this semester last Thursday, and it was one of the best experiences I've had. The kids were all fairly calm, and everything went pretty well. I even got to read Wayside School to one of the older girls there!

One of the girls reading about Wayside School. I later read it out loud to her.

 I'm really glad to go home for Christmas, but a part of me is worried about the children I watched. I hope their Christmases are just as wonderful as mine, even though they have more challenges than I do.

One of the girls dressed up in a Christmas outfit.

This video shows my favorite part of volunteering with Step by Step, and highlights what I found the most challenging.

Final Video Reflection

My experience with Step By Step has been amazing.  I have met many new people and I have gotten to know the people I worked with and the children well.  I am glad I got to help out this organization and I was able to see how beneficial organizations like this are too mothers and their children.

Final Video Reflection

The room where I have played and learned at Step by Step

The experiences I have had at Step by Step, in one small room every other Thursday, have taught me important lessons. I have been challenged, through a personal view of the emotional challenges of poverty. Yet I have also been given hope, by seeing how the individuality of each child reflects the beauty of human nature.

Written Reflection 3

By: Jordan McCay

As the final weeks of this semester gradually creep upon us, I find myself thinking more and more about the kids at Step By Step. How are their Christmas's going to be? Will they miss us for the month or so that we won't get to see them? Will they even remember us when we get back? And the questions cycle over and over again.

My home boy Darius

I'm really not exaggerating. These kids have truly touched my heart in the short span that I've gotten to see them and play with them and care for them every other week. In the baby room, we each have "our" child. Mine's name is Darius. Any time the little fella doesn't show up, it's like a piece of my heart is shattering.

But the thing is, it doesn't matter if he doesn't show up, because there's always, always, always another kid looking to be loved on and held and played with to keep them happy and content. And in doing so, it makes all of us happy and content. Except when the kids have nasty smelling formula (which really happens more often than not).

Another precious babe, Lay Lay

I suppose it's kind of silly of me to wonder if a two or three month old child will remember me. At that point in time they don't really know anyone outside of their mother. Nevertheless, as I sit and play with Darius all the live-long day and he smiles up at me and looks with those big, blue eyes, I can't help but wonder if there really is something in those kids that helps them sense a sort of familiarity. Either way, it's hard to just dismiss the idea out of hand.

Furthermore, the more weeks I stay with Step By Step, the more I notice the moms have really opened up and are all so, so kind. Not one fails to put a smile on their face. And it's wonderful to see that they've all formed such strong friendships. It makes me happy when a mom who's already dropped off their child ends up coming back to the room, not to check on her kid, but because she's busy chatting with another one of the mom's or even carrying the other mom's child.

The next Step By Step I go to will be my last for the semester, but that doesn't mean it will be my last ever. I fully plan on going back in the spring, during my sophomore year, and any possible time I'm able to help out with this wonderful program, so deeply have they touched and sparked a fire in me for service.

Sticky Situations - Written Reflection 3

By: Phyllis Elizabeth Holloway 

Getting all the glue she can onto her craft.

My time at Step By Step has flown by. Looking at the calendar, I see there are only two sessions left in this year. This absolutely breaks my heart. I have grown so close to these young children, and I am going to miss them all dearly. Step By Step has provided me a time to drop everything and just take a few hours to myself (and the wonderful kids). This volunteering experience has completely transformed my life. I'm so glad I got to start volunteering as soon as I moved here. I love my time at Step By Step, but sometimes... the kids are a bit of a handful. 

If you've ever spent any time with a child, you know that sometimes children can be quite messy. My time at Step By Step has confirmed this belief time and time again. I absolutely love these children, but how can such small people, make such BIG messes? (Also, it's just not fair that these little people can take up such a big space in my heart.) 

Getting caught in the act.

There are always messes made when the kids eat their dinner or do crafts. One of the children really likes to eat with her hands. This is the precious young girl that just really likes to keep all the volunteers constantly guessing, "What will she do next?!" This young lady is an absolute joy, except last night at Step By Step she fell down after doing something we warned her against. Good news is, she hopefully learned from the experience and knows we are just looking out for her. 

Playing with the toy, HE chose.

My time at Step By Step has also shown me how society influences young children. I think it's great to see these young boys playing with the toys that society has told them they shouldn't play with. Masculinity is something that society has twisted around, and I love seeing how uninfluenced young children are when they are young. 

Playing with the baby dolls,
and having a great time.

Seeing the girls smiling when they believe us when we tell them how beautiful they are is just another thing that I hope never changes in these young children's hearts. Society can be cruel, and I hope the world is changing and these little people will forever be ignorant to what society deems is appropriate. Everyone should do what makes them happy, not what society says will make them happy.

These young children's hearts are so big and willing to learn. They just need awesome volunteers and programs like Step By Step that can show them such an intense loving environment. Their mothers have so much on their plates, they all just need a place they can come to feel safe and at home. 

"My little buddy" wanted to take a picture

with me before leaving. 

Written Reflection 3

Each time I volunteer for Step By Step I like it more and more.  The last time I volunteered I watched the little children that were starting to walk around and be more active.  This was a big change from the little newborns that I usually watch.  They were so cute and it was fun to be able to actually play with the children rather than just hold them.  Most of them were able to talk and tell you what they wanted rather than you just having to guess what they wanted.  For almost the entire time the children were running around and playing with each other, and there was a toy house that was a big hit.  They would knock on the door to enter and when they were going into the house they would wave and say good bye to us, the volunteers. 

One of the little boys I played with when I was at Step By Step

In the little amount of time that they have had they have learned common habits and behaviors that they had seen older people demonstrate.  This shows how much these children are influenced at a young age.  Because of this, these children need to grow up in a good environment, so they are able to develop good behaviors and grow up to have satisfactory life.  Step By Step helps achieve this.  It helps the mothers provide a good environment for their children and it gives them tips and skills needed to keep giving their children the good environment they need to grow up to have a successful life and have well developed behaviors.  Without going to these meetings, some of the mothers might not be able to have as good of a support system and guidance for raising their children and taking care of themselves at the same time. 

At this meeting I also had to try and get the children to eat their food that was given out at the beginning.  This is harder than one might think.  There were a couple children who were able to eat the food fine, but others who kept dumping it onto the floor and did not know what to do with it.  This little challenge showed me how hard it would have to be on the mothers to have to take care of their child and deal with having to teach them everything they do not know how to do, while going to school themselves or having to work.  I think school is hard enough as it is now, having a child and going to school has to be twice as hard and I admire the mothers who are able to do this.  These mothers are amazing and going to Step By Step helps them on their journey through their life with their child they may not have planned to have had this early in their life.

Me with one of the girls I watched

This time when I volunteered at Step By Step I have been able to see the effect that parenting has on children and how much the children learn from just interacting with their environment.  I have also realized how difficult it is on the mother to take care of their child and still work towards improving their lives and learning how to take care of themselves and their children.  

Written Reflection #3

On November 5^th I attended my fifth night at Step by Step. Through each night I attended, I had increasingly felt more and more familiar with the experience of it. I knew the kinds of activities we would be doing, the personalities of the children, and what to expect from the evening.

The night of the 5^th, however, was the first time in which I truly felt at home, at ease. I felt comfortable, as though I had been there hundreds of times. All of the activities felt normal, and each child felt like a friend.

Seeing children consistently over the weeks has undoubtedly been one of the best parts of the volunteer experience. Even though the volunteer nights are two weeks apart, the children still have an amazing capacity for remembering the various volunteers, and always express excitement when they walk in.

Somara is the very first child I met at Step by Step, the young girl who so enthusiastically braided my hair in my video post. She has a large and vibrant personality, and has been such a joy to see each night. She never fails to conjure up uproariously hilarious games, and to energetically boss around the volunteers in playing them. On the night of the 5^th, a new girl, Alissa, attended, who was clearly frightened at first. Somara quickly won her over, though, and I was amazed to see the way that fearful Alissa opened up so swiftly to her.

Somara and Alissa play and laugh together.

 In my first written post I also mentioned Eva, the young girl who gave into her human nature by deciding to trust. She has attended nearly every week, and each time has been increasingly outgoing and playful. She laughs often now, not merely giggles but mirthful laughs that tumble easily from her. Eva has blossomed swiftly over the past few weeks, and that has been beautiful to see.

Somara and Eva are just two of the children who attend, but their personalities display wide varieties of human ability and potential. Somara’s vibrant energy contrasts to Eva’s careful ways, but they each still have the playful heart of a child. Every single child that attends has such a unique personality that becomes swiftly evident in the way that they play and talk.

Feeling so at home made me realize how well I had come to know the children, even over only a few hours every two weeks. They have grown on me so quickly, and I have loved seeing both the wide differences and undeniable similarities in their personalities.

I love having a place with these children, and building relationships with them, the individual human beings that they are, has been a true gift.

Eva colors intently.

Somara and Eva are just two of the children who attend, but their personalities display wide varieties of human ability and potential. Somara’s vibrant energy contrasts to Eva’s careful ways, but they each still have the playful heart of a child. Every single child that attends has such a unique personality that becomes swiftly evident in the way that they play and talk.

 Feeling so at home made me realize how well I had come to know the children, even over only a few hours every two weeks. They have grown on me so quickly, and I have loved seeing both the wide differences and undeniable similarities in their personalities.

I love having a place with these children, and building relationships with them, the individual human beings that they are, has been a true gift.

Written Reflection 3

As the end of the semester draws near, I have to decide whether or not to continue volunteering with the organization. I have now completed all ten hours, so any more volunteering I do is superfluous, or perhaps done out of a sense of obligation because I agreed to keep helping through December. I have given my time to the organization, and I could walk away in December without having wronged them in any way.

A woman, who is not me, walking away
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Yet volunteering at Step-by-Step has taught me to be more patient, to be more understanding of people’s backgrounds, and to accept children, and by extension people, as they are, with no questions asked. Volunteering there has helped me realize how important it is to trust people even when they aren’t in good situations.

I have benefited greatly from Step by Step, even if in non-tangible ways.

Working with Step by Step also showed me the importance of having someone who cares. The children I work with know that I’m volunteering because of a class right now, and they want to know if I’ll come back even when I have all the hours I’m required to have. “Will you still help us?” They want me to care about them for who they are, not just because I need to get a good grade so I won’t lose my scholarship.

The children want me to care about them more than getting an 'A'.
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Faced with what I’ve already learned from volunteering and the children’s response, I don’t think I can in good conscience stop volunteering, any more than I could refuse to share my food with a starving man. They are in need of someone who will play games and listen patiently, and I need to be taught patience and to be reminded how to play. If I stop simply because I am no longer required to go, then I truly haven’t learned anything at all, and I will have wasted all of my time there. Yet if I keep going, I will be enriching children’s lives. When I return to Step by Step two weeks from tomorrow, I will be able to stop prevaricating when asked if I’ll come back, and wholeheartedly respond, “Yes.” 

Analyzing a TED Talk

The speech I chose to analyze was by Jennifer Senior titled ‘For parents, happiness is a very high bar.’  Senior gave this talk at TED2014.  I enjoyed listening to this talk, and I learned new facts about parenting I had never heard of before. 

Jennifer Senior presenting her TED Talk

Jennifer Senior did a very good job at getting her point across and relating her speech to the audience.  She told a story about the different books that are being sold on how to raise children and how much parenting has changed since she was a child.  She told another story about holding her first child in her arms and promising to never hurt him, made her speech more personal, and also related to how happiness is very hard to give to someone.  With this story she got her point across that her promise she made is an easier and more attainable goal than trying to make your child happy.  Throughout the whole presentation, Senior made it feel like she was having a conversation with her audience.  She used PowerPoint slides, which had only pictures or had very few words.  This helped to emphasize her points and was not too overwhelming for her audience.

Listening to this presentation, I learned many new facts about modern parenting.  One fact that surprised me was the shocking statistic that the United States was one of eight countries that do not have paid maternity leave; this makes it so much harder on mothers to be able to support their family and give their children the best life they can have.  She also presented the fact that mothers now spend more time with their children then they did decades of years earlier when not many of them had jobs.  So much has changed in the past few years, and so much will change in the years to come.  She pointed out that happiness is not something you are able to give to your children.  You just have to teach them and help them get to a point that makes them happy.  To make her speech livelier Senior put some humor into it.  She started her speech with a joke which pulled people in and helped them to focus on what she was saying.  Also throughout her speech she would put little pieces of humor, which helped her audience focus again and it helped defuse some of the seriousness of the talk.

Jennifer Senior was able to paint a picture through her words about her speech on happiness.  She used her own experiences and she was knowledgeable about her subject.  She used stories and images that her audience was able to relate to, and therefore they are about to visualize the story in their mind.  She did all of this is in 18 minutes, and having this time limit gave her enough time to cover her topic well and did not give her time to deviate from her track.  

These are some of the words that describe parenting

‘For parents, happiness is a very high bar’ by Jennifer Senior was a great TED talk.  It related to my service organization Step By Step, which helps single mothers and their children.  This talk made me realize how stressful it can be to be a parent, and how much harder it would have to be if you were young and on your own.  Parents want their child to be happy, but that is an unrealistic goal for the parents to give themselves.  There is no guidebook for the parents to follow they just have to do the best they can and hope that the child’s happiness will follow.

Video Reflection

The longer I work at Step by Step, the more impressed I am by the organization. It has done a wonderful job of allowing teen mothers to connect, and the children I have worked with have a great time. Four weeks ago, one of the girls I was helping watch took it upon herself to restyle my hair into quite a tangled mess.

Jamaria ties my hair in knots

Some of the others learned hangman for the first time, while still others colored beautiful pictures and told me about their days.

Maia draws pictures as well as coloring them.

All of the girls and boys there had energy and enjoyed all the extra attention that was showered upon them. 

Link to video on Youtube

The video describes my experience the past couple of times volunteering. Even though I have technically met my requirement for service hours, I will continue to go back for this semester. The kids notice when someone doesn't show up, and it's important to them that we aren't just coming for a grade, but because we care. 

My Lil Buddy - Video Reflection 2

By: Phyllis Elizabeth Holloway 

In this post you will find a video reflection based off of my previous Step By Step volunteering experience. It seems like each time I go I just fall more and more in love with these kids. I absolutely adore spending time with them, and I cannot wait to go every other week. Also, this video will show me going through that caterpillar I mentioned in my first blog post... Maybe this will give you a better idea of how hilarious I look while playing with these kids.

As explained in this video, sometimes these kids take a little time to warm up to you. The kids aren't too hard to fall in love with, but sometimes we have to give them a little time to fall in love back! We are more than happy to give them this time. I am so excited to continue working with these kids and hope my 'lil buddy' is there every week!

Video Reflection 2

          Working with this organization has been an amazing experience and it has taught me how important it is to have a caring family supporting you through your life.  It has also showed me how important it is to be able to have a type of child like wonder and love for the little things in life.